What's in a Title To Smell So Sweet

Life must be so difficult for you, Mr. Joseph Epstein. When you taught college for 30 years you must have felt so sad every time you saw the department bulletin board, all those PhD’s with the title of Dr  in front of their names. And Mr. in front of  Epstein. Oh, that nagging, gnawing, gnarly knot of a Napoleonic complex must have so rubbed your ego raw. All these years, Insecurity and Inferiority always by your side, like Ares’ sons Fear and Panic, roaring every time the coveted academic title appeared before you: Introductions. Greetings. Faculty meetings. Parties. Deimos and Phobos. Panic and Fear.

. You wore the cloak of aloof arrogance and haughty superiority well, kiddo, a good job for a lowly BA playing with the big boys and girls at Northwestern. You’ve accomplished a lot. Writing essays and all. Editor of the American Scholar for years—until you got fired, of course.  

 Some have called your WSJ essay on Dr. Biden misogynistic ( e.g. Ana Navarro). Northwestern U. stated officially it “strongly disagrees with Mr. Epstein’s misogynistic views.”

Never mind the classic conservative MO of eating Democrats for sins of their own commission. Graeme Wood’s piece in the Atlantic noted how Trump’s stayed-for-a cup-of coffee national security officer, Sebastian Gorka, received a Ph D from a Hungarian University and always was respectfully addressed as “Dr.” despite his popular right wing Dr. Strangelovian persona.  No Epstein-esque outrage from the op/ed WSJ pages. Or any other Republican nook or cranny. Just a little chisel to undercut an incoming Democratic preside+nt. We went after your son, now we’ll drop the tray on your wife and see if you can wash out what stains penetrate the fabric as you march to 1600 Pennsylvania. My goodness, you would think she wore a tan suit in the White House.

 As a strong First Amendment advocate, TGBL believes in your right to write. Your wish to reveal to the world your rather archaic views, your willingness to play party hack, or whatever beliefs the muse drives you to share with the world; be our guest. It’s nice to see how you no longer condemn homosexuals to the dungeon. An epiphany every three decades is not a bad thing. In 2050 you might even reconsider according Dr Jill Biden the same courtesy extended to   Dr. Sebastian Gorka. 

It wasn’t only Jill Biden whom you insulted by insisting her PhD  in educational leadership unworthy of the title “Doctor”. Your smug dismissal swiped at every teacher, counselor, and administrator working in schools and district offices to make teaching and learning ever better for all students.

 Maybe that’s what got to you, kiddo. A woman called Dr. Biden with an education degree. Suppose she were named Melania Trump and held a doctorate in Rose Garden-Wrecking Studies. You might suddenly find the deference to call her “Dr.Trump” and praise her educational attainment.

 But such hypocrisy would make you just a political hack writer, rather than a man of unbridled but rather antiquated out-of-date principles, which we know you are definitely not.

Just ask Mr. Gorka.